Breaking the mold

Kyla Wells, Reporter

The paranoia begins when behind your timid back, classmates chatter and scoff. All the thoughts your brain manages to process are apprehensive and obsessive. “Are they laughing at me? What if they don’t like me? Do I look awkward?” After years and years, it’s no mindset to thrive in. For those of us who have been labeled as shy or introverted, it isn’t necessarily an insult. Although comments can feel spiteful sometimes, remember that you are accompanied by many others who feel the same way. That reassurance will not come easy but with work, anything is possible to overcome.

I’ve always struggled with showing my true colors to those around me. From a young age, many of us try to please others and form into an ingenuine mold. These habits are hard to break… once you’ve lived in your comfort zone for too long, it’s almost as if the roots you planted wrap around their creator with the intentions of trapping you. But the cycle, the routine, can be broken.

Within the past year, I’ve strived to branch out to more people, to open myself up to new experiences, and simply to be more accepting. From when I was six years old I was always labelled as timid; or maybe that’s just what my anxious conscience was persuading me to believe. Highschool, as suffocating as it may feel, has allowed me to uncover bits of myself that were previously stuck beneath the surface. Writing, art and a lot of self- evaluation has stuck by my side during my so called “journey”.

Just like many of you, I’m obsessed with perfection. Whether it’s how organized my room is or how symmetrical my letters are, the need for precision has always haunted me. Now I admit, sometimes this is a good quality. Perfectionism has led me to do well in school and be competitive in extracurriculars but I made a goal for myself to thin the layer of obsessive thoughts that cloud my mind. Finding an outlet to pour my restless thoughts into, art and journalism, helped immensely. Allowing my frustrations and worries to dissolve on paper not only helped my situation at the time, but made me look into the future. I had been fighting with myself about what I wanted my career and lifestyle to look like. Writing presented me a proposition to look forward to after high school and beyond. Attempting to recognize my deep- rooted, unconscious intentions and becoming more in tune to others around me, uncovered a sense of worth.

I was no longer just myself, identified by my name. I watched my timid mindset leave with my shadow and my perfectionism thin with every bold, move I made. Although it seems like magic on paper, it was the opposite of easy. My whole school year was spent with sleepless nights and questions left unanswered. This topic has been on my mind for a long time and I finally decided to share my notions in hopes to motivate others to do the same. Although no one goes through the same challenges, one thing we can all do is be conscientious and persevere.